Give too much/too little credit...

Do you give too much credit to yourself and to others or too little...

We were always taught to be humble so it sort of became a lifestyle, I do not think thats how it was intended to work anyway. Rarely will I pat myself on the back. I recently read What Got You Here Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith a story of a ridiculous girl ...in a pretty blue dress and when complimented gets nervous, says she just picked it random, its not even pressed...and so on...and guy rolls his eyes and wonders just say thank you! and I laughed at myself. On the other hand I compliment others accordingly, when they are impressive I am adequately impressed.

Now I have met a few different people who are unafraid to compliment themselves and if you disagree some won't care much (they already think they are impressive) some will be offended (how could you!)
This is the lot that worries me a little because when you give me a great impression I hold it and the day you don't live to the expectation I end up disappointed. Again they say you should't meet your heroes.

Everyone talked about a certain club, it was a huge excitement how great it looked and so much fun that comes with it. I delayed going to see it but when I finally did, it was a major disappointment. It had wooden tables, awkward drunk people and all..harsh judgement....but only beacuse it din't live up to my expectation.I do not like to be shortchanged. Had I not received the report, I could have considered it an alright place.

Same goes with people, I think it is good to be moderate with giving credit to yourself because when you do not live up to the expectations...its not pretty. If you set high expectations on me as well I get the impression that you also would meet my highest expectations and it is odd when you do not live up.

I think too much or too little isn't good make it as real as possible....a lesson I need to learn as well.

another random...

Random 1: I have a number of young friends and cousins both boys and girls, I call them my under-18s though they are past 18years. One of them is an engineer, another a student of economics, another entrepreneur who has gone off my radar, another dropped out of school, another a student architect. What they have in common is, they are 'crazy', they do daring things, speak their minds, they are searching for relevance and meaning of life and are fun to hang out with.
Now the engineer works as a managemnet trainee in a telecom company and he just attended a training on leadership for a week this past week. He's highly opinionated and critical so when he says he enjoyed it, thought the facilitators were impressive and such, you have to believe him. They were asked to assess their leadership characteristics and improve, change or stop what they do right or what they do wrong accordingly. They need to appoint an accountability partner whom they could share their SWOT and actions with during this period...and you guess correctly who he picked :)

Random 2: I am currently sitting end of semester 1 exams, they are challenging but I had better perform and excellently at that. Before I hand in my paper I usually mark my own exam...try to count what my score might come to, am not usually accurate but close by apart from one ACCA paper which I have never understood what the examiner needed to this day. When I sat for my final high school exams, what I scored was very close to what I expected (but I had really wanted to join a public university and had missed it by a point) and could even tell my worst performed subject. My brother decided to call my school and ask for a breakdown of scores per subject and alas, my best paper was my worst paper way off from my expectations and the one I expected a dismal performance had performed averagely. I asked the National Examination Council to re-mark that paper...long process but in the end that earned me an extra 5 points and could join the university easily. I still mark my exams and life too...if there's a probability of a certain outcome, I dont expect it to be too different from the actual.

Random 3: Office reshuffled yesterday, I now report to a certain lady who pays alot of attention to what I don't and which sometimes am disinterested in as she is HR oriented. Very few people can stand her and I suspect I was just a pawn. It will be interesting working with her, I will emerge refined or as a friend says, maybe she shall change. Recently she placed an order for smaller capacity flash disks as the ones staff currently have are too large...???? but I will do my best :).

Random 4: I think one my best past times is making noise, chatting alot...with intersting company. My brother was around for 10 days and for several of those days we have stayed up late chatting with our friends. Yesterday his flight was pushed back by 2 hours and we sat with him at the airport until his check-in time just chatting...got home late and I had to be in the office today.

Random 5: I had wanted to go to a tree planting excercise today morning but had to work, so much backlog due to being away from office for exams. Could have hosted a friend but we sort of did not make a commitment for that and sounds a little odd to bring it up so later today I'll excite myself to attend an opera...so curious to find out how it will be.

random...

Random 1: Touch is absolutely important and yet so disturbing when done by wrong person or right person at the wrong time. It means alot and sometimes it will mean nothing or simply am comfortable with you.
So now when a tout/ conductor insists on holding my hand when trying to get into a matatu/ bus is annoying... thats my personal space, get out of it, I dont know you, I can find my way into the bus...etc is what goes through my mind and have fought quite a few for that. I dont know how to classify these other group well but I have a lovely young friend, but he is tooo touchy, wants to hold my hand when talking to me, hold me, hug me all the time..it feels so inappropriate.
It is quite interesting as other people will do it and am comfortable with it but others I just want to run.

Random 2: I used to work with this person very admirable, he has good work ethic, purposeful life, family man, leader in society, role model to many. I consider him my mentor and he is a hero, I have been his apprentice for a long time and I respect him alot. I decided some day that I had learnt quite a bit under his wing and left but we still get to do many other things together. One difference between us is he attaches value to money alot and I probably dont value it as much, for me it is a by product not the main product. Recently we worked on something and he decided he would pay me for it from his own pocket and he insisted. Now the work delayed quite a bit due to 3rd parties involvement and when I tried it hurry it up, he decided to give the people a little more time to complete it. This resulted on a fine and he said I would have to pay for it, that just meant he wouldn't pay what he had promised as I was responsible. I do not have a problem with that at all, he let me off easy as I was more disappointed that we did not have the work ready in good time. We still got more work to do but I hope he wont offer me any money, money can be a little insultive, am much happier when we get the desired results.

totally random... :)

wierd...maybe/maybe not.

Someday...cant wait..I will have a pond and on or around it have ducks, swans, cranes, geese, guinea fowls and maybe a peacock around them and short pretty trees. Not too many, just a few.

I got my chicken house finally! I havent gone home to pick the two chicken yet..will do so after exams. I also decided to keep a guinea fowl too. I'll keep them for fun, fun to know I own them.

I am a wierd/odd girl compared to others... have always liked cats and kittens they are calm, I can stand dogs but I find them needy and too affectionate while the cat will just glance when you walk in and mind their business, they only bother you if hungry or sit on/next to you and lick themselves.

I dont like to keep many animals of a kind, a cat with its kittens are pretty but as soon as they grow bigger, they become too much. I dont like animals kept ideally for production like cows and pigs, they are so big and not fun and require so much attention. I would like keep a horse, sheep and goats wandering around maybe 2 of each kind and sell off extras.

I like agriculture for its natural look but not keen to be a farmer. I like trees a few not too many either so will plant some tall ones (maybe jacaranda trees) and some short ones. I will plant grass that I can roll on. I like the easy environment and hope to have it some day.

Checklist...

In December two of my friends had a wedding, my role was kym-kazi ya mkono (Swahili) directly translated hand work -like a handy man- means running around to ensure everything is working well and all corners are covered. At one of the weddings I was given a pair of sun glasses to hold for the bride as she would need them during the ceremony alongside other items, a camera etc. Since my role was running around, I placed the sunglasses on a chair where the sister of the bride picked them and sat on the chair, she also got up at some point.....in the evening, the sun glasses got misplaced. We couldn't tell who had them last and this got the bride very upset.
The bride posted an update on social media that she thought she knew who her friends were but evidently she did not because she lost something of great sentimental value with them around...that sucked as I had the responsibility to take care of them.
She kept checking whether we had found them and eventually we resigned to the fact they were lost, but she did not forget :). So many days after the wedding she asked if we had ever found them I said not and she was really sad so I decided to take responsibility and pay for them. She was very excited at the thought and we even worked out a repayment plan, they were quite out of my league :). I fully repaid for them in a couple of months... but I wasn't too happy that she accepted the repayment...why, you would ask, yet I volunteered to do it anyway... can't explain why clearly...but our friendship's now a marshmallow.

I have been chatting up with a nice guy whom I met at one of my friends wedding, we are all at the marrying age so talks on what kind of partners we would like, come up. After many chats I narrowed down what I thought was his kind of girl, I wasn't it :) but I happened to know a girl who matched up to his description though she was seriously dating someone else.. bottomline, I could tell his kind. So he decided he would try find me a hook up and I asked him if he could describe my kind but he said I was dicreet so he couln't tell. It wasn't that really, he couldn't tell my kind because I didnt have a checklist. On the other hand he has a checklist which he refers to sometimes and that's how I could tell his kind/type.

It could be good to have a checklist but for me I only have a general idea of what I like and it sort of happens naturally and thus not need to ask... are you intelligent? are you hardworking? I find out as we get along and have realised some of the things I would want on my checklist (if I had one) are not as important as others I find in the person and others very impotant.
I think I should come up with a checklist but it would have minimum acceptable percentages..who even does that?! ...for instance he could be 90% intelligent but only 40% hardworking so nooowww...
Many times I have suffered buyers remorse, in boarding school I always looked forward to holidays and when they came I missed hanging out with my school friends and shortly I was looking forward to be back in school. What if somethings on my checklist dont turn to be as cool as I had hoped?


Marshmallows are cute and pretty and look tasty...but I think they taste flat and bland and the spongy feel isn't cool.
On the other hand cheese doesnt taste so good first time you have it, but you acquire the taste as you move along and you cant help but have a cheese burger, pizza , cheese potatoes etc

To have a checklist or not...hmmmm